Saturday June 28, 2008

The longer I hold off talking about it, the more frustrating it gets for me. I am talking about the issues with the family. I'm curious if it is all just a joke for them? Spend all this money on someone and that will mean you love them. Did anyone know that? Don't they understand? Doesn't anyone care? Why am I all alone in all of this?

I'm sorry none of you get it, but there are only so many details I can put on the internet of course.

Wader is working today. Sad but good. I mean that was the whole reason for Wade moving to this job, more money, and plenty of opportunity for over time. Just frustrating for me when I'm home alone all week, and still have to wait part of the weekend to be with him. The bright side though, Wade got paid yesterday and brought home in one week the same amount he was bring home in 2 weeks at the last job. So we have doubled his income so far. This is good. They don't work Sundays, which is good to. But he does work Saturdays, and that sucks!

My parents called and want to take Harley over night tonight. I think its crazy they couldn't plan this ahead of time. The make all these arrangements for my sisters boyfriends mom to pick Harley up. I think thats crazy too! I've never met the lady, and although I am sure she is very nice, would you send your kid with a stranger? Probably not. Of course I'm the one who is screwed up..... Not to mention, we go tonight to pick up the furniture, so why can't they wait til this evening when I'm driving? "Because we bought him a new swimming pool!" Well... HELLO!!?!?!?!?! He's only out there every couple of months why buy anything for him? I'm so confused with it all. On top of all of that, they get to see him tomorrow at the family BBQ my dad's side of the family is having. Like my mind is going in circles right now, and I just want Wade to help me out and make it all better but he is WORKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


til next post....

Friday June 27 2008

We have a long weekend ahead of us. I mean literally. A baptism, a family BBQ, and we need to pick up some furniture from my parents. Because of course, my parents stood me up at the beginning of the week, thus means we have to take care of it ourselves. Cuz ya know I'll be so much help to Wade. (*sarcasm*)

Wade has agreed we can go shopping this weekend for baby, however, I'm not sure this is the best time to go with such a crazy weekend, I'm feeling overwhelmed just thinking about it.

Yesterday was my last day baby sitting Stone. And although I was looking forward to this idea of just being able to chill out... I'm bored!!! Surely I thought I could find myself lots to do, but everything hurts. Laundry hurts my back. Hanging the pictures and shelves in baby's room hurts my upper back. I just finished washing the floors and now my side is in pain... yada yada yada .... it just hurts.

Missed my BP check this week... shhh... don't tell any body or I could be in some BIG trouble. But I have a doc appt for the 2nd. And that one determines if I go into the hospital for BP monitoring and IV for weight gain. Or if I just get to stay home and "take it easy." If I get to stay home, then Home Care will have to come here and take care of things for me, and I really don't like that idea. Of course I'm not going to the hospital either...

Whatever ?! ...

Wednesday June 25, 2008

I feel we are making progress in Baby's room. Last night we hung the sheer for the closet, the canopy for the bed and 3 of the 4 shelves. Mom has informed me she is going to get baby the crib bedding. Which I really hope she does. I'm having such a hard time believing most of my family right now, Mom usually pulls through on what she says though. There is a list of things I still need for baby, but I think most of it is ok if we don't have it until after baby is born.

• Diapers (obviously a must before she gets here)
• Nipples for bottles
• Nipple and bottle brush
• formula (although I do plan to breast feed)
• Vaseline & Baby Oil
• Soaps, Lotions, cleansers
• Baby brush
• Pacifiers (I'll get these before we leave the hospital, trust me!)
• Mobile
• Nasal aspirator/thermometer/medicine dropper
• Diaper bag
• Wash clothes'

I also still need to pick up my stroller for baby from a gf's house. And invest in some toys for this kid too. Babies don't usually like to play with Tonka Trucks and Ninja Turtles...LOL

We're getting there, feeling a little better, I just wish it could all just get done! I haven't packed a bag yet, and I'm thinking I probably should, but then I have to find the perfect coming home outfit for baby. Thats super important ya know!

Wade and I had a nice spat this morning about house work. Apparently its okay if I cook supper do the dishes, vacuum , sweep and mop. So much for bed rest @$$ hole!

Off to work....

Tuesday June 24 2008

Last night a girlfriend of mine dropped off more clothes for baby. Which is great, however what about all the other stuff I need? I still don't have crib bedding, which I'm so undecided on. Everything in her room is pink and white, so I think I'll just stick with that. Instead of my leopard extravaganza that everyone keeps making fun of me for. I don't have a mobile for the crib. Which really saved our butts with Harley. A diaper bag, even diapers! I got nothing real important. I have a bed for her to sleep on, and clothes to put on her. But no sheets and no diapers? And if doc seriously thinks shes coming early how am I supposed to get this done? Especially if I'm supposed to be on bed rest. HA HA. The list is a mile long. What I need is to hire a pro shopper, and enlist their credit card with it! LOL

Beginning to get really frustrated with the lack of help from Wade. And I could complain about it, which would make me feel better, but I don't say a damn word at all, because that seems to get us no where. And lately I have been extra tired. Last night I was in bed at 9, woke up, and the dishes are still in the sink waiting to be washed. Real nice eh?

Really don't think I'm having a baby shower. At least I've heard nothing about it, and we're on a time crunch here! I'm getting impatient. I just want things done and ready so I can relax and be prepared for when she gets here. I don't remember feeling like this with Harley.

My parents stood me up yesterday, which was no real surprise. I just think its really unfair to get my hopes up and then not even call to say a word about it. Claimed they never said they were coming, they said the MIGHT come.... Well of course they did eh? Aren't I the stupid one.

Sick of people, sick of family, sick of sick!

Monday June 23 2008

Well I don't think we have to worry to much about me gaining weight with the way Wades family is feeding me.
FIL was really concerned about everything with baby. He told MIL. So Saturday while Wade was at work, they came and picked Harley up (I don't think they have ever done that... I don't think I have ever let them) and they kept him for most of the day. Then we were invited for supper. They specifically bought me chicken, because meat doesn't stay down. There were potatoes like you would never believe and salads outta the yang! There was so much food I couldn't believe it. And she kept filling my plate. (She has never done that) They wouldn't even let me help with dishes. Of course, I wasn't going to argue. Afterwards they put a huge glass of milk in front of me, and a bowl of yogurt. Then sent all the remaining jug of milk and container of yogurt home with me. There is so much milk in my fridge its sick!

Honestly though, it was super nice that they took Harley for the day. Part of me doesn't want him to go anywhere, because these will be the last few months of just Harley and me. But another part of me is begging for sleep. I could get used to the pampering....

Wade took us shopping on Sunday to Ikea. And I loved it! Couldn't stay long though, my legs really started to hurt. I bought some curtains, and a canopy for the crib. (because she's a princess) A shelf for our room, and a toy hammock for Harley. It was so nice just hanging out as a family. Still haven't found crib bedding though. When we got back, Wade made me take a nap. So nice... slept for an hour, and felt like I slept for a decade. Then we cleaned the basement to make it more practical for everyone. Now Wade has his own little spot to work on his models. I have a spot for scrap booking, and the computer area. Its very nice and open. Wade put a table in the laundry room for me to fold the clothes so I don't haul the hampers up and down the stairs. (kinda sweet) He also put a comfy chair in the play room for me to hang out with Harley and the book shelf of books so I don't have to go far to cuddle and read.

We started to hang shelfs up last night in the Hall way so I can finish unpacking from the move still. (no I'm not done yet!) But I wasn't feeling well, and my back was really starting to hurt. (think that was from walking around Ikea) So we went to bed and watched a movie. Wade kept bringing me glasses of milk. It is so nice to be taken care of, but what a pain in the ass drinking all that milk!

I finish baby sitting this week, which seems odd to me. Thing is I don't feel sick, so this is hard to nothing. But I am very worried about baby, so I thought it would be best to just worry about me and Harley. And we'll look into home care if I think Harley is too much as well. But for now, we'll just try this.

I'll keep ya posted...

Thursday June 19 2008

So the list goes on. Baby may not be well, then again she might be. My blood pressure is very high, I've been given 2 weeks to get it down and gain 2lbs. Or I will be hospitalized... which we don't want. But the dr. wants to be sure when I go on bed rest that I am 100% on bed rest. When the doc took measurements I have not grown at all since may. Baby's heart beat was too fast. (167 b/m) which they believe is linked to my high blood pressure. (143/185) I have lost 12lbs in the last 2 months. and in total have lots 37lbs in my pregnancy. I was gaining the weight back for a little bit ( I gained 5 of it back) but I lost 12 so really thats not good. I am at a high risk right now for premature birth. I'm scared....

Bright side (if their is one) I'm very well hydrated which is good considering I can't keep any food down, and my protein levels are back to normal.

Tuesday June 17, 2008

Are you aware that potato salad looks exactly the same coming out as it does going in? Yea, and it kinda burns when you throw it up. Lately too, every time I vomit my nose bleeds as well. So I'm leaning over the sink (I cannot puke in the toilet) throwing up my guts, and my blood every where. And my son just says
"uh oh, broken!"

NO KIDDING!

I hear Leanne had her baby, but I don't know any of the details. I kinda think its a little weird because either her mom or her MIL thought from the very beginning that baby should be born on the 17th, but shes not due until the 27th. A boy I believe it was too.

I am able to walk much better today, at least I don't look like the hunch back anymore. I just have to move very slowly. Unfortunately for Harley I cannot run... sometimes this is an advantage to him, but then mommy can't really play either.

Wade started his new job yesterday, and is in love. Another bonus to it, benefits start after 300 hours, instead of 3months. So we'll have them before baby gets here. YAY!

Not sure I can baby sit much longer though, things are getting very difficult for me. Thinking I might have to find a baby sitter for my own kid! For the most part Harley baby sits stone for me. Playing with him, and the "suckie" or "milk" is he's crying. Its kinda cute how he comes running up to me "MAMA MAMA CRYING!!!!" and I'm just supposed to know that its stone crying. sorta sweet.

Started cleaning out closets yesterday and I am going to tackle the filing cabinets one of these days. Wade was a bit of a grump last night while he was helping me, so I think I'll just get him to move stuff around instead of help with the organizing.

Til next time...

Monday June 16, 2008

I have found a web page I am in love with! All I can think about it buying ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING on it. Of course the baby isn't letting me forget she is there. From Friday on... today is better so far. I have been in EXTREME pain. And some how I very much hurt my back on top of it all. I know that back pain is normal, but this is excruciating, and the stomach tightening is horrible. I have barley been able to move, I walk like a hunch back, and there is no way I can squat right now. I have been very dependent on wade, although he had to go to work today so I'm on my own now with 2 kids...

Speaking of work, Wade starts his new job today. I cannot express enough how excited about this job I am. Not only does it mean that he is closer to home, it means MORE MONEY! *doing a happy dance* Once we're paid up with everything (shouldn't take us too long I don't think) We can work on Wade's bike. The one that was a supposed to be a "write off" Well I guess it isn't after we had a guy come and look at it yesterday telling us about 400 or 500 bucks and its back on the road..... You should have seen Wades excitement. A rear tire, chain and sprockets, and some casing (?) I mean there is more we can do to it. But thats all we need to make it road worthy again.

I'm still trying to get things done, but after whatever it is I'm going through, there won't be much for me to do... all on wade now.

P.S. Free help is ALWAYS welcome ;)

Link to wonderful webpage
http://cgi.ebay.com/5-BUTTERFLY-LOT-wall-hanging-nursery-girl-room-decor_W0QQitemZ220244392813QQihZ012QQcategoryZ37635QQcmdZViewItem#ebayphotohosting

Friday June 13 2008

Moms in their second pregnancy can feel the baby's movements sooner than those in their first pregnancy. Or so the doc says.... Well moms in their second pregnancy seem to get every little nook and cranny figured don't they? We're just privileged to feel every symptom possible WAY sooner than we really need to. The worst part? We know its coming... we don't want it to come and then BAM! we get hit with it earlier than the first time moms?! How unfair is that? Powerful kicks, mysterious bruises, muscles spasms, cervix grinding, and something that looks like it's straight from the movie "Alien"? Yep! That's baby. And last night OMG! My stomach was so tight Wade could actually see the formation of baby protruding. You could tell exactly where her head was and where her feet were. It was the most creepy thing I have EVER seen. I mean Harley moved lots, but not creepy like this. Harley's thing was to "swoosh" from one side of my belly to the next. Causing pain never the less, but still he wasn't creepy.

Last night was the last time we will ever get to step foot in to my in laws house. And for most people they wouldn't really care. I mean Wade of course, might care a little, but its not the house he "grew" up in. He was in High school when they moved there. However, for me it was much more emotional that I thought it would be. That is the home that opened its doors to me and my pregnant belly. Taking in Wade and me and our unborn Harley under its roof and caring for us for a year and half before my choice to leave. That was the house we brought Harley home to. His first home is now in possession of some stranger. That was the house that loved me and cared for me and my baby when it didn't have to!!! It just did because thats what that home feels. You can feel warmth, you don't feel like you need to walk on tip toes, or watch what wall you brush up against. If you want to holler you holler, if you want to cry you cry, and trust me that place gave TONS of laughter off.
I am so hurt to see someone else get a hold of the home that made us a family. And made Wade's family my family.

Never the less time moves on, and things happen that we don't want to happen. I just have to get over it. But I think its crazy that in 6 months I watch 2 homes that I truly felt like I belonged in just disappear. My house in Bruderheim... that was our home! MIL and FILs house that was home. Anytime Wade and I needed to go there we would call it "home." The house in Bruderheim was "Harley's house" and thats what we called it! And my parents place... is my parents place.

Sad but True...

Thursday June 12, 2008

I love my son dearly but we're going through some phase right now that I could do with out! I mean the tantrums, and whining. Its insane. I'm wondering if its because he is starting to realize the changes. And if that is the case I know it will only get worse when baby is here.

Still waiting for things to get done. Wish there was more I could do in baby's room but things are taking so long for whatever reason. So I move on to a different room and end up being exhausted at the end of the day.

The goodbye party for the in laws house is tonight. This is really bugging me. Thats the home we brought Harley to from the hospital, and the first 9 months of his life, and the last 4 months of my pregnancy was in that house. Its taring me apart, I really don't want to see it go. And if money would have allowed us, I know we would have bought it.

Off to start work on the basement now

Wednesday June 11, 2008

The baby is moving like crazy! I can't sleep at all anymore. It has been uncomfortable for a while, but now my belly is having like seziures. Harley finally got to feel the baby move. (He was patient enough) And all he kept say after wards was "MORE MORE MORE" LOL. Last night we were talking about the baby, and Harley brought a toy ducky over to me and stuck it under my shirt. I asked him what for and he said "Toy for Baby." It was too sweet, now if I can explain to him that this baby does come out of me... or I will forever have toys stuffed under my shirt.LOL


My house seems so cluttered right now. And I can't get all this stuff out of my house fast enough. I think this is it ladies and gents! This thing they call "nesting," I believe it has started. Furniture is flying out of my house. I am giving almost everything and anything away. I can't stand the clutter so I'm constantly reorganizing. And it never bothered me until today. I cleaned the bathroom yesterday evening, and guess what I did this afternoon? I cleaned the bathroom yet again!!! I had 3 ladies come to my house to pick up some furniture that I just GAVE away. I think I'm going crazy. But this house will get in order before the baby gets here.

Back to work :)

Tuesday June 10, 2008

I can't stand the mess anymore! My house is always covered in toys, and all though it has been for the last 2 years, I'm trying to get things done and I just can't seem to function with all the toys! My patience is short and my fuse is ready to blow! LOL Not to mention I was puking again this morning. That stopped about 10am or so. But will it ever stop for good?

I want baby's room to be together already, but everything seems to be put on hold for the in laws moving. Thats done and over with though, just cleaning the old house is all that is left to be done. Waiting on SIL with details on baby's dresser, and still working hard on trying to get the bedding I want out of my parents. I would say next month I'll be able to get things done. As this weekend is fathers day and my grandma's b-day. And next weekend is my mom's b-day. After that I think I'm free to just focus. Of course I still watch stone until the end of July, so maybe I'll wait until then.


P.S.

Ceasar wraps are the best prego food ever. Top with a glass of milk, and I'm in heaven! LOL

Monday June 9, 2008

"Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday dear ME! Happy Birthday to me!"

Yesterday was my birthday, and like the past few years I would wake up to wade making breakfast and he would wish me a Happy Birthday then we would carry on with the day. This year there was no breakfast. In laws called and took us out for food instead. Fabulous meal! FIL made up some story about needing help at the old house. So we went off there and arrived to a triple layer chocolate satin cake and strawberry's. A dozen red roses with a Happy Birthday Balloon and a new Pyrex baking dish (Wade shattered mine the day before) Harley can say "birthday" and I taught him that mommy was "two two" so there were 2 candles on either side of the cake to show that I was "two two." LOL

After that, because FIL didn't really need wades help we were off to my mom's for dinner. My absolute favorite supper ever. Mashed potatoes and Broccoli steamed with cheese on top...mmmm....My mom's home made ceaser salad (delicious) and pork chops baked in mushroom soup. AMAZING!

Mom and dad bought me a crock pot for my b-day, a plier set, and a light for my garage. I was so excited. MY sister bought me the most beautiful solar powered light for my flower bed. Its a humming bird and a lily, and the bird looks like its about to fly into the flower. The change all different colors. Its really beautiful.

I had such and amazing weekend. But yesterday topped the cake.


P.S.
Thank to everyone for the Birthday wishes.

Friday June 6, 2008

We're approaching the weekend. Which would normally be great, however this weekend would be my birthday. I'm not exactly thrilled at the idea. Although most people would be so exited to be turning 22. I realized that I am going to be 22 with 2 kids! I love my children dearly, however I'm 22!!!!! I'm suposta be having fun!!! And parenting is a VERY interesting blessing, but I don't know if we would call it fun!

My FIL got everything fixed and working for me in the basement so now I have a completely working dryer!!!!! That has got to be the most exciting thing in the entire world after 6 months of hanging clothes to dry. I now have a BRAND SPANKING NEW dryer and a $115 breaker repair. (working on the landlord still for reimbursement.) Can't love my FIL enough, I don't think he even realizes how much a burden he took off our shoulders.

Again tonight, and this weekend we will be helping the in laws with "moving" although its not their stuff we're moving anymore. Some how we got rigged into moving all my SIL's things as well. I pity that move. (4 flights of stairs, no elevator.)

Anyhow, need to run find out what that "BANG" was upstairs.

Tuesday June3, 2008

Ever had a weekend that was so long, but yet not long enough ? This helping the in laws move has taken a toll on me. Between my hips and swollen feet, I've been puking every day. I just started packing food for me and Harley because I couldn't handle anymore fast food. Pregnant or not don't they give a tiny damn about health!? Like the first few nights I understand, but this is 2 weeks now. Conveniently a bunch of the family can no longer help... I'm not saying their liars I'm just saying interesting timing. (One threw a back out, one ended up with carpel tunnel syndrome(?) Another has to work, another's arthritis is really bothering 'em.) Interesting......
Yes I'm complaining about the work too because it is making me physically ill, no I haven't stopped helping!!!!!

My little sister had her 18th birthday on Sunday. She's all "grow'd" up now. My birthday is this Sunday and after this I'm only having 3 more. I'll go until I'm 25 but I'm not getting any older than that. I'm not gonna be one of those people who are like 50 and saying they are 29, I'm just going to stay at 25 instead.

Had my diabetes's test yesterday. Thats ridiculous. Drink this (wasn't that bad) sit here for an hour and then we'll take a needle and you can go. I was so tired from sitting in the docs office I actually went back to the van and had a nap before I drove anywhere. I have NEVER done that before.

I finally have a BRAND spank'n' new dryer in my basement. (my sweet heart FIL) But the breaker needs to be replaced in my basement ( he's on his way over right now :) I love him) So I'll be back when I can.